WHY SHOUT
BACK?
By
Jeremy Leariwala
One of
the most important lessons I have come to learn is, “If someone calls you a
cow, you don’t have to fight him to prove to him that you are not a cow.”
The
same lesson applies to someone who tries to shout at me or anyone else he is
engaged in an argument. Shouting back at him, many times, only worsens the
situation. There are many ways of dealing with individuals shouting at me or
you.
First
understand their objectives. A person who shouts in an argument wants to be
heard. He may wants to express his anger, to shame me publicly or to show anyone
listening that he is right/better than me. In short, he wants to talk to
someone else, apart from me, about a problem between me and him.
When a
normal argument degenerates into a shout you need to know your role in it. You
are part of it no matter how ugly it is. If you want to maintain it, for
whatever reason, then you need to shout back at him. Answer by raising your
voice higher; and we would have two competitors trying to outdo each other in a
shouting bout! When you want to stop it, stay calm and focused. Restrain
yourself from shouting back; listen for details and always remember that
majority of the listeners don’t care much of what exactly is said! Their wish
is the unfolding drama.
I shy
away from a foolish scene of shouting men. But a man who reasonably shouts at
the right time wins my support. I swear, I can shout alongside him.
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